Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
