Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
