Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
