Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I look better un-naked...
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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