I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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