you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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