Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
