Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
