Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
