We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
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