? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
