kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
