Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
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