his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
