THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
