Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
