ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
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