that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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