She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
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