My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
