i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Randomize
