I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Randomize
