thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
