one two three fourrrrnication!
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Randomize
