Just fell off a train. Bad.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
