I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
