you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Is Oprah even human
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
