hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Randomize
