so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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