well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
