guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
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