Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
