They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
