brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize
