All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize