her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
