Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
