Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
