Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
