Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
i wish my penis had a tongue
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Randomize
