u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
