There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
