Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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