if we break up, who will get the dealer?
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
