I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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