She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
