After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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