yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
