new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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