Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Be still, my beating vagina.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
