bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
