so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Randomize
