I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Randomize
