their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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