I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
