Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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