Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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